A Weekend of Progress

A free weekend and a weather forecast which was quite frankly perfect, 2 days climbing seemed like the only sensible option!

On Saturday, I climbed with Sam at Windgather, a favourite place of ours, kind of like a comfort blanket if you will. Whenever we get spat off a crag we always return to Windgather for a dose of 'there there there it'll be alright'. Don't get me wrong, there is some decent climbing to be had at Windgather, it's just that the whole place has this relaxed almost serene atmosphere about it. So, it seemed a sensible choice, myself having been a bit chewed up after my recent Stanage visit and Sam, still a relative novice and not having climbed outdoors for a while.

I had decided before hand that I wanted to lead less well protected routes. If you read my last post you'll understand why. They say fear is a perfectly natural and healthy thing to experience, it's how you deal with that fear, how you fight to face it, that's the key. This was about going eyeball to eyeball with my fear.

I started on an easy grade VD but with no protection until very near the top. It was pretty much a solo. I led it comfortably and Sam followed with ease.

Sams favourite route on the crag is High Buttress Arete, a 2* Diff which if a little taller would get the ultimate 3*. Good climbing and with the top few moves in a fantastic position. Sam led it like she'd never been away. We were played 2 won 2.

For my next lead I upped the anti with a severe 4a. Again with little protection until the final few moves. No problems at all. My climbing was good. Smooth, considered. I was trying to focus solely on each move. Not the position, not the height, not the gear (or lack of!), just the move. It was working.

Sam then led a nice HV Diff, Wall Climb. It has a lively overhanging finish to it with 2 choices of style, inside or outside! Sam chose inside ( a closet caver!) and deliberately placed protection in there so that would be the way I'd have to go......and knowing my complete lack of any sort of affection for anything approaching chimney like! it's a nice route to be fair and whether you choose inside or out, the moves are good.

I then led another S 4a, nose direct. decent protection all the way on this route but with quite committing moves over the bulge and a well positioned finish. I placed 2 pieces, 1 low down and another just below the crux and that was it, deliberately. I knew I could climb the top wall, I didn't need the gear. It was another personal victory.

Sam's final lead was also a severe, Green Crack S 4a. ok just by the name you see what I'm getting at with 'closet caver'! The slimy orifice in the name actually refers to the last 10 feet or so which do indeed involve a struggle with a deep slimy off width cleft through the slightly overhanging buttress. Actually, as with Wall Climb, there is an 'inside or out' choice. Only this time, the crack being off width, meant Sam had to place gear at it's start but no more after that. Which is exactly what she did......and then proceeded to crawl into the damn thing and squirm her way up gleefully. This isn't any need escape the exposure of staying outside, Sam will pretty much climb anything. No this is just pure masochistic need......each to their own. she did climb it well though to be fair! I followed and with equal glee, removed the gear and then bridged either side of said crack, the damn thing wasn't eating me!

My last lead, my nemesis........well one of them anyway! Earlier in the summer, we'd visited Windgather and I'd been climbing well. I decided to try a HS 4b called Green Slab. Long story short, I did the crux move but couldn't find anymore gear after that and basically bailed. after, I was furious with myself and swore that I was doing the thing on my return. So here I was, in front of the route again. I trotted up the first slab to the bulge, placed the gear and pulled over easily. The crux done, I composed myself and focused on the moves of the upper slab......which just felt so easy!

It's baffling how this fear thing works. How it can appear at anytime and it's a miserable horrible thing. So it is wonderfully satisfying to go back to the very thing that scared you and not only take it on again, but comprehensively kick it's backside.......today was a good day!

On Sunday, I had arranged to climb with someone I hadn't climbed with before and in fact had never even met. Brian is a Lancashire Caving and Climbing Club member and was taking me out on my second 'meet' with a club member (I need 5 to then be able to join as a full member). I met a few good chaps at the first meet at Brownstones and had no reason to think there'd be any problems.

Except, also throw into the equation we were going to Stanage!

it was only a matter of a couple of weeks since my last visit so I was fully aware how much of a bold move this was for me and it could easily go quite wrong! I think sometimes, occasionally, it's ok to be proud of yourself. For me, this was one of those days, it was a really great day!

I led the first route, Hoaxers Crack HS 4b. This was a big step forward for me personally this lead. I only managed to place one piece of gear! the start of the route is a fingery crack and small slopers for feet, the crack being too shallow for gear....and fingers! Quite technical. A semi rest below a bulge and an opportunity to place gear. the crux pull over the bulge to ok holds and then 2 or 3 more moves to a very satisfying (and rare!) flat top out. I was pleased with this lead.

Brian then lead a VS next door to my route, VS 4c. I followed comfortably. On reaching the top Brian commented to me that he felt I'd been 'sandbagged' on my lead and that Hoaxers Crack had to be the same grade as this one, it felt at least as difficult. So having been pleased with my lead before, I was now delighted with it!

Our next route was a big step up for me. Brian wanted to try an HVS 5b just along the crag. The route is called Rugosity Crack. In summary, Brian led it superbly! He commented afterwards during a conversation that he'd not felt 'this brave' for ages......and it showed! It was a really impressive lead. Now my turn. the wall to the first break and the start of the crack in the name is fairly straightforward. The crack itself is quite shallow with just a couple of places for finger jam/locks. Small slopers provide the minimal footholds. A couple of semi layaway moves lead to the crux to reach the break. Brian is a couple of inches taller than me and was able to get the break almost as soon as he stepped up. I worked out I had to utilise a crimpy 'rugosity' on the right wall to give me enough height to gain the break with my left hand. The rest of the route was then fairly steady although on the rounded side. I didn't climb this perfectly by any means......but I climbed it well enough! I was very pleased. This was steep and first proper finger crack I'd been on in a long time......Excellent!

Our next route was called Prudence. another HVS 5b. Another fantastic lead by Brian saw him at the top in no time. My 'ascent' didn't go entirely to plan but...........
I laybacked the flake crack to the first ledge with no difficulties. I then proceeded to remove 2 pieces of gear which thankfully I quickly realised weren't ours, but in fact belonged to another leader on a different route. in fact at one point there were 3 parties all criss crossing each others routes! I quickly replaced the gear and then moved up to Brian's next placement just below the crux finger crack section. I couldn't budge the thing.....at all.......despite drawing blood! In agreement with Brian I unclipped and carried on. I made the next couple of moves but could feel my arms were drained. 2 days consecutive climbing and an almighty struggle with a stubborn wire, had taken its toll. I had to retreat and Brian cleaned the route by abseil.

I was glad to come away from that area though. It was incredibly busy. It's something I will have to get used to. Learn to zone out all the distractions. People are entitled to use the crag just like me and I welcome that. It's my issue to get round and deal with but I think its simply a case of keep visiting busier crags in order to just get used to it. It's new to me, just how popular climbing has become. when I climbed years ago, on that stretch of Stanage, there would be maybe 4 or 5 other 'parties'. On Sunday there were maybe 100. I just need to get used to the change.

We moved back to the area we'd vacated for our last couple of routes. Both of these were led by Brian at VS 4c. One in particular was a tricky little thing with marginal protection and none at the crux and finished with a horrendous rounded topout which neither of s managed to do with any particular style. No matter. An excellent day. I was shattered but in a good way! Yes I'd backed off a HVS 5b......but so what, I was backing off Severes not too long ago.......this has been a weekend of progress.

One step forwards......

I've managed to get out climbing a couple of times since my first post aswell as a few indoor bouldering sessions. I'm climbing better, feel strong, feel fit, feel in control......or at least I thought I did!

My first venture outside was to Wilton 3 quarry, part of a family of 4, nestled in the hills above Bolton. For anyone who doesn't know the Wilton family, they appear such a lovely bunch on first meeting them, but don't let the seductive sweet smile of quarried gritstone lull you into a false sense of security, they will quite happily reduce the unsuspecting folk to quivering wrecks. This is Lancashire!

My buddy for the day Chris, is a relative novice, particularly to outside trad climbing, being more of a gym rat! So I set off up Parallel Cracks S4a. No dramas, all very smooth.

We moved onto Forked Cracks VS4b. Again no dramas, we both cruised to the top in no time.

We then moved to rappel wall area and I set off up Mo VS 4b. I got to 2/3rds height and backed off1

Now, for those who don't know me, I sometimes struggle with the head games in climbing, the psychology. I can literally be paralysed with fear, all rational thought and control gone, I have to fight like mad against this. It is a climbers worst nightmare, like a golfer with the yips. It is extremely hard to break the pattern.

To finish and to restore some confidence, we finished with Oak Leaf Crack VD......totally in control, I have to finish on a positive note and although VD is easy, trust me, having backed off one moments earlier, topping out on anything straight after is a big personal achievement!

My next outdoor trip was over to Stanage in the peak district. I have a strong affinity with Stanage stretching back many years. I did my first ever VS lead here many moons ago. Today however, I just wasn't in the mood. I'd been looking forward to the trip all week, the weather forecast being perfect and despite my 'setback' at Wilton, I was feeling confident.

The day arrived and all that changed. Even whilst packing my gear in the car before setting off, I could feel the fear creeping up on me. The uncertainty, the nervousness, the doubts.

I was climbing that day with Sharon, technically a really good climber but also short on confidence sometimes. So we started with Black Hawk Traverse Left VD 3*. For all my time spent at Stanage, I'd never done his route. the technical 'crux' is quite low down and nothing too hard. But technical difficulty isn't the problem for me. I cruised up to 2/3rds height and then started to feel the panic appear. I had to force every sinew of myself to concentrate on the task at hand, on the climbing, nothing else. I forced myself to breath deep and slow and then made the final moves to the top. It is a fantastic feeling, to have conquered not only the route, but also my own personal fear.

Stanage by now was like Market Street in Manchester on a Saturday afternoon. There was even a drone buzzing annoyingly overhead, like having a giant wasp buzzing next to you! I knew I was struggling, my poor climbing form and subsequent mood making me less tolerant of things around me. I really wasn't enjoying the day!

We moved to Hollybush Crack, again VD 3*. Sharon led and climbed it superbly, never missing a beat and so smooth. I followed and climbed fine til about 10 feet from the top. I was trying to retrieve Sharon's last cam. It got stuck, I got panicky, it wasn't pretty. I eventually got the gear out and composed myself to top out. But by now I really wasn't happy.

I decided to try and 'shock' this feeling out of my system and try something harder. Foolish? Maybe!

We moved to Heather Wall VS 4c. I lead smoothly to half height. I'd done the technical crux and had maybe 2 more testing moves before easy ground. So why did I panic? why did I back off?

I felt quite low afterwards. Thinking it was a mistake to try it. But now, after thought, I don't believe that to be the case. I don't believe the day was a total failure and in fact I'm taking more positives than negatives from it. I did climb some stuff and I did climb well and confidently at times. I did manage to control my fears for the most part. It has also shown me what I need to work on. My technique, my physical ability are not in question. My mental strength definitely is!

This journey, to becoming a mountain guide, is more than just being physically competent for me personally. I know I will also have to battle my own personal climbing demons to achieve my goal. But I WILL do it, I WILL beat this fear and achieve my goal!