Crossroads

The last 2 climbing trips I've been on have been, well, at best confusing and at worst down right disheartening!

We went to Bamford Edge with the Lancashire Climbing and Caving club, an organised meet. The weather was fantastic, dry and sunny, a miracle having just had what has seemed like weeks of solid rain. I was feeling good, my shoulder completely healed and feeling stronger by the minute, I was also climbing well (relatively speaking of course!).

Bamford is a beautiful spot and generally can be found to be quiet as it tends to be overlooked in favour of its more famous Hathersage neighbours. It's small stature both in number of routes and their length can also see fingers flip through the Bamford pages of the guide, looking for something more adventurous. Well it is their loss those who don't visit Bamford for it is a cracking crag, with some fine routes at all grades and photo opportunities galore!

First up, Nathan lead Browns Crack HS 4b thinking that a certain Joe Brown had put up the first ascent however this isn't the case and it is another less well known Mr Brown who had the honour on this particular grit crack! It's a good route, 3 stars, solid jamming and bridging and plenty of gear.

Nathan on the crux of Browns Crack HS 4b

I then went to lead Bilberry Crack VS 5a. Again jamming and bridging all the way and again with good gear, although the jams are a little thinner on this route. I bailed half way. I wasn't happy either! Mentally I didn't feel good at all, scared even, old leading demons were definitely reappearing! I lowered off and Nathan completed the lead. On second I had absolutely no problem with the route, it was lovely if a little short and would definitely get 3 stars instead of its 2, if it were just 10 feet taller!

Gary belaying Nathan on VS 5a

We then moved onto Quien Sabe? VS 4c. Nathan lead and another 3 star classic. I loved this route, I like routes with variety of climbing and this one packs a lot into such a short space. It starts with jamming up Browns Crack before traversing out along a slab to another crack and a crux layback sequence to the top out. It feels committing below the crux but once you get going on the sequence, it is all there and the gear is good. This was my favourite route of the day.



Me on the crux of Quien Sabe? VS 4c

Next up was THE classic of the crag, which Nathan lead and I managed to capture the ubiquitous 'Hollywood shot' ! Gargoyle Flake VS 4c. I didn't follow. By now my head was in a bad place, beating myself up about not being able to lead........ In all honesty I was terrified that leading just isn't for me anymore!

Nathan in a fantastic position on Gargoyle Flake VS 4c

 

inspired enough to dust off my brushes!

 

We moved onto Bamford Wall, At Severe 4a this should have been well within my leading capabilities. I backed off this too, I was in a mess! Again Nathan kindly finished off the lead and I followed. I didn't enjoy the experience at all. I was getting frustrated at the slightest thing to the point where I was getting angry, with myself, with climbing, with everything!

Last night the club held an impromptu evening meet at Troy quarry in Lancashire. I've chronicled Troy before, a fantastic quarry and a superb spot, very picturesque and perfect for a summers eve climb.

I partnered Ian and Matt and we started on Sounder HVS 5a which Ian lead. The first few moves I think are the technical crux with a particularly thin section where the sequence is all important. although quite sustained, the rest of the route is fairly straightforward and there is good gear to be had.

I then tried to lead Rapunzle VS 5a and again bailed at mid height, the crux done! Matt completed the lead and I then followed, with no problems. All in the head! It's horrible, I'm sat here kicking myself typing this!

Ian then lead Jussy HVS 5b. I flew up this, seriously! Really nice moves, sustained and the crux near the top, I enjoyed this route.

I had to get back on lead, on anything! I chose Little Sneak VS 4c a route I'd lead last year, my first VS 4c. No problems at all, but then it is a short route, 25 ft at most. And there lies the issue. When seconding, I get to just concentrate on climbing, I'm not even aware of how high stuff is. As soon as I get on the sharp end however, the height, the exposure, all of these things suddenly get thrust to the front of my mind, doubts creep in and I'm defeated even before I start to climb!

I'm being as honest as I can with myself here and the truth is I don't have any answers. Having believed I was over this fear, to have it suddenly appear again has really taken me aback and knocked me for 6 really. So, I'm going to get my thinking cap on over the next few weeks, to see what I can do to get over this barrier. I'm determined to do this and the thing is, ironically, I'm really enjoying my climbing! I'm climbing as well as I've done for a long long time, enjoying the movement, enjoying the problem solving, I just need to transfer this into leading!